Femin-rority: How to be a Member of a Sorority and a Feminist

            When you think feminism the last thing you think is sorority girl. Is it because sororities and the women associated are victims of certain stereotypes that are seen as anti-feminist? Or is it because fraternities are associated with sororities and that patriarchal institution overshadows the matriarchy? Or could it be that feminists just don’t join sororities because that type of institution holds values that are simply opposite of those that are feminist? Well, I’m here to let you know that being a sorority girl is the epitome of being a feminist. I know because I’m both.

Feminism: What and Why?

            Feminism is a noun meaning the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men. The key phrase here is, “equality to men.” This doesn’t mean women over men. This doesn’t mean man bashing, man hating, or man-eating, and it doesn’t mean any violence of negativity towards men. Though men can be part of the problem as to why there isn’t equality of women in today’s society, women are just as much to blame. Some women are what we call the “femi-nazi”, which is that particular girl you know who participates in the man hating activities. That by no means is feminism. Then there are the women who don’t realize that even though our society is quite modern that women are not equal by any means.

            This leads me to why you should be a feminist. Here are my eight reasons why you should be a feminist:

1.      Because women still deal with catcalling on a daily basis. Ladies, this by no means is flattering. This is a man exercising what he thinks is his right to treat you like a piece of eye candy or meat. You are not a piece of meat.

2.      Because the US Senate is unequally split twenty women to eighty men. And with certain debates coming up in the government about women’s reproductive health there are not enough women to speak for the female population. Men would never let us make decisions based on their reproductive system why should we let them do the same?

3.      Because women still earn $0.77 to every man’s dollar. And if you’re in a minority group that is even less.

4.      Because women are still criticized for what they wear and for the fact that their bodies are different from men’s. Women should not be judged on how well they do their job based on the color of their lipstick. Likewise, when a woman is raped it shouldn’t matter what she was wearing. And women should not be responsible for men getting distracted by what they choose to wear.

5.      Because in the US a woman is raped every six seconds. That means every six seconds a human being is violated on a very intimate and emotional level. And then the victim is blamed.

6.      Because women are taught to hold their keys between their fingers when they walk alone to their car at night.

7.      Because in a domestic abuse situation people ask “Why did she stay?” instead of “Why did he hit her?”

8.      And because even if you’ve never experienced any of these things other women have and part of being a feminist is supporting your fellow woman.

How to be a feminist?

            So, you’ve read over the reasons to be a feminist and one or more of them sparked anger or outrage in your heart. Well, now is the time to start becoming a feminist, and here is how.

            First off just be you. Embrace who you are. If you’re still looking for who that is then give yourself the adequate amount of time you need to in order to find yourself. It’s all about being aware of who you are because the more aware you are the easier it is to complete the transformation into the master feminist.

            Secondly, stop obsessing about your body. If you love your body then that’s all that matters. If you don’t and it’s because you feel unhealthy start finding ways to be healthy. As long as you are aware of how you feel physically that is all that matters. But remember it is you who are allowed to decide how you feel about your body and only you.

            Stop using derogatory terms when talking to or about your girlfriends. Names like “slut” or “bitch”, I believe, are appropriate in certain joking situations when both parties know 100% that it is not to be taken seriously. Using names like that on an excessive basis can really wear down other women’s self esteems. That is not what feminism is about. We want to build up our friends not tear them down.

            Don’t change yourself because someone asked you to. If a guy you’re dating doesn’t like something about you and he asks you to change it do not do it. As long as you’re not harming anyone or it’s not threatening your health you do not have to change for anyone. The same goes for your girlfriends too. My personal view about friends is that if they’re not building you up or a positive influence in your life then you don’t need them. Life is too short to deal with toxic people.

            Now when you do get into some type of relationship with a guy (or girl. We’re about equality) make sure you are making smart sexual decisions. Think about your emotional and physical health when making these decisions. Err on the side of caution and be real with yourself as well as with your partner.

            Lastly, take action. Encourage other women to become feminists because the more that answer the call to action the more we will be heard. We live in a modern world we deserve equality.

Sororities and Fraternities and Feminism Oh My!

            One of the reasons why people don’t put feminism and sororities together in the same sentence or thought is because a lot of times we are overshadowed by our male counterparts. Whether it is on the campus stage or the national stage sororities sometimes take a backseat to fraternities, and maybe it’s because one is for men and the other for women.

            Fraternities in the media dwarf sororities whether it be positive coverage such as a fraternity raising awareness for a certain philanthropic cause, or negative coverage like the most recent sexual assault accusations that have been floating around the internet; you don’t see a lot of sororities show up in headlines. Sororities do not get equal coverage as fraternities do in the media, and that should change. Fraternities and sororities have the same organizational coverage but for different sexes. The coverage should be the same.

Also, when you see go Greek campaigns online or on college campuses a lot of Greeks like to point out that a lot of famous people went Greek and are now successful. However, most CEOs and politicians are male and therefore were in fraternities; whereas, sororities can lay claim over reality TV stars, TV hosts, and inventors of casseroles. Not that those are not prestigious, they are, but we should also be able to boast that this politician or humanitarian was in a sorority.

            Another issue is that just like with men and women there is a double standard for fraternities and sororities. With fraternities brothers are gaining a network opportunity, but sisters in a sorority are gaining a family or are joining an organization for the “girl bonding.” Though that may be true we have the same opportunities that are afforded to fraternities, but nobody mentions that when it comes up in conversation.

The same with leadership experience; a president of a fraternity is shown to have qualities of a leader; whereas, a president of a sorority is seen as the “Head Bitch in Charge.” To be honest, I think it’s more complicated and challenging to be a president of an all female organization. Everyone has an opinion and everyone wants to be heard.

The biggest double standard in my experience as an active member was during recruitment. Sorority recruitment on my campus was held to much stricter rules than that of fraternity recruitment. Boys are able to go and smoke cigars with brothers and talk with them about joining. Opposite of that is sorority recruitment where a sorority can get in trouble for letting a girl leave their house with a plastic cup for fear that it looks like we are bribing her to want our sorority. If sororities have these rules then it should only be right that the fraternities have them too.

Stereotypes of Sorority Life

            Some stereotypes are responsible for the dissociation of feminism and sororities. Let’s address those shall we.

1.      “So don’t you like pay for your friends?” – No. With any organization you’re going to have to pay fees. These pay for things like shirts, events, philanthropy weeks, etc. With Greek life you may also have to pay to live in a house. You cannot put a price on the experience you gain by joining a sisterhood. It’s pretty much priceless.

2.      “Aren’t sorority girls dumb?” – On the contrary, many sororities have scholarship requirements for members. Some of the smartest women I know are my sorority sisters. But I will admit we all have our blonde moments, most of which happen during finals week.

3.      “Sororities girls are just glorified party girls.” – This one makes me laugh because I went to the bar maybe a total of three times my senior year. What may bring this stereotype about is that on campuses, especially ones with a big Greek community, parties at fraternity houses are more widely advertised. But I do believe that in college everyone goes out at least once, and in sororities we are no different.

4.      “Sorority girls are easy.” – I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this said about sorority girls. I’m going to be completely honest. It’s college. Everyone explores a little bit in college. It’s the first time that you’re away from home for any extended amount of time. Things are going to happen and you’re going to try new experiences. I promise you that in a sorority you have the support system that looks out for you and makes sure you’re making the right decisions and that’s not just emotionally or physically, but just in your life in general.

5.      “Sorority girls only care about how they look.” – This isn’t halfway true. Sure, during recruitment we may all be dressed the same but that’s so that we look like a unified front to the potential new members. Not only that, but we don’t look very impressive if we are in sweats and trying to recruit. It’s like going to a job interview. You have to be presentable. However, plenty of my sisters, myself included, could care less about how we look. As long as we get to class on time that’s all we worry about.

6.      “You only get into a sorority if you’re rich and a girly girl.” – My chapter has to be one of the most diverse group of women I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. There are plenty of sisters who are girly girls, but I also have a sister who is a huge jock (she’s the goalie for our lacrosse team.) Personally, when I moved back home after graduation I decorated my room with Lilly Pulitzer, but on the other hand I could quote all three of The Lord of the Rings movies. It’s takes every kind of woman to build a sorority.

If you’re in a sorority currently and were hesitant about taking the leap into feminism because you were afraid you’d be less of a sister do not worry you’re already halfway there. Being a sorority sister is about lifting up your fellow sisters just like being a feminist is about lifting up your fellow female. If you’re not in a sorority but you were hesitant about joining because you’re a feminist please know that you can do both. The two go hand in hand. As a feminist and a sorority girl I wish you the most beautiful sisterhood and the most awesome girl power!