The Forging of Friendships

Hometowns are great. They’re your safe haven, your starting point, and your comfort zone. Mom’s home cooking and dad’s sarcasm are always in full force, and at the end of a long semester a hometown is a sight for tired eyes.

Friendships are always rekindled after long semesters away at school, but sometimes maintaining those friendships is not the easiest thing to do.

Going away for college is great. You have the ability to make all kinds of new connections and friendships while being away from home. When the time comes to get back to your roots, old friendships are never far behind.

However, sometimes it’s hard balancing the multiple types of friendships you’ve now cultivated in your life. Here are three basic friend types and signs that will let you know they’re right.  

The “basically blood brothers (or sisters)” Friendship

        Y’all may not share the same momma, but that’s about the only difference. You know their favorite color, who their second grade crush was, and you will never let them forget that one time in 7th grade when they shot milk out of their nose in the lunch room.

        Through grade school and high school you were each other’s go-to and confidant. College was never going to change that, even though you both ended up on opposite sides of the country. The truth is, the distance doesn’t matter. Those miles can’t erase the time spent to build your friendship, but it doesn’t hurt to let each other know you’ll always be there, even if it is only through a Skype call.

        This friendship is what they all should be. It sets the bar high. You don’t have to talk everyday. You don’t have to send each other gifts every month just to let each other know you’re there. When you’re together it’s like nothing ever changed.

        You each understand that new friendships have entered into the mix. You know that there may be someone else out there now who knows about your deep seeded love for all things related to the Friends sitcom, or that your biggest fear about yourself is that you secretly smell awful.

But that understanding is what makes it wonderful. You each love each other. You don’t hold each other back from new people and experiences, and at the end of the day you know that in a few months you’ll both be cuddled up on each other’s couch talking about where you’re both going to vacation to after graduation.

The “Call Me When You’re Here” Friendship

        College is a whole new world once you get there. It can be overwhelming, but it’s also amazing and exciting. There’s so much to do and get involved in that before you know it four weeks have passed since you’ve talked to your friends from home. It’s not your fault. Between school, a job, and sorority it’s hard to even make sure you check in with your mom.

        You haven’t forgotten about your old friendships, you’ve just started to work towards a life of your own. This doesn’t mean you love them any less or like your new circle more, it just means your’re growing up.

        There are going to be people who completely understand this. There are also going to be people who don’t understand at all. They truly believe that you would choose a new circle over your old one. They make sly comments about your campus involvement even though they don’t know anything about it. They make you out to be the bad guy, even though in all honesty they haven’t reached out to you in the last month or so either.

        These friendships are found by the boatload. They’re always ready to go out, but always shrink away when it’s time to study. They’re always ready to blame your college friends or relationships for reasons as to why they never hear from you anymore, even though they know full well that their logic is off base. It gets old after a while. Don’t let anyone push you into a corner when you know you’re just doing what is right for yourself.

        These friends won’t ever notice how their actions affect you. At the end of the day, it’s okay to accept that you won’t be as close to some of your hometown friends anymore. You know that if you ever need them or vice versa that you all will come running, but remember that a forced friendship isn’t going to make you happy.

The “Must’ve Been Separated At Birth” Friendships

        You always knew that somewhere in this world lived another version of yourself. You just never knew you’d find them. Then, you moved into your dorm or walked into a house full of amazing sisters and wide-eyed new members, and there they were.

You both enjoy Top Chef Junior re-runs and Buzzfeed videos. You both laugh at all of the same inappropriate things and share all of your same awkward situations. Honestly, somewhere out there is an old married couple that wishes they had the same type of shared brainwaves that y’all do. It’s borderline creepy, but still wonderful.

You both may be from two separate parts of the country, but that doesn’t stop the fun. You travel back and forth between each other’s places during breaks, and you never fail to snap chat yourself hiding in the back of your summer jobs.

This friendship is solid. It’s built to last. Even though you met during the part of your life that changes the most, you somehow know that this friendship isn’t going to change… even though your major has like five different times.