Disaffiliation Is A Lot Harder Than I Thought

This summer and upcoming fall, I have to disaffiliate/disassociate myself from my sorority because I have the opportunity to be a rho gamma in this year's recruitment. 

Let me tell you, during my interview they asked me if I will have any trouble from disaffiliation considering that I have to showcase an unbiased opinion. I told the interviewers, "I can disaffiliate easily. It can't be that hard because it's only the summer. And I'll busy myself, so I don't think there's a chance I'll see them in public anyways." 

I was wrong. 

It was a long and tedious process to hide my photos and privatize every social media account I had. Thankfully, there were loopholes where I can still talk to my sisters with texting but it was like I was creating a forbidden relationship with my own chapter.  

When some girls wanted to hang out with me, we actually had to think logistically because of a possible potential new member spotting my sister in her srat gear. Then there was moments in group outings where sisters would take photos for PR, and I was either the photographer or the girl awkwardly watching from the sidelines. 

I can walk on campus and see my sister but I can't open wave to them or hug them. I literally have to look the other way or not make eye contact with them. It has turned to a point where any type of public communication is literally not allowed with us!

There are definite pluses to disaffiliation because I am able to meet a whole range of amazing girls from different chapters and I can focus on the new members during recruitment. While disaffiliation seems hard right now, I find it hopeful because then I can start running back into my sisters's arms and proudly wear my letters again.