Sorority Recruitment Prepares You For the Real World

Believe it or not sorority life is more than matching tee shirts, fake candid pictures, and themed parties.  Just like sorority life is more than all that, Recruitment is more than a popularity contest, matching outfits, and fake smiles. Being a member of a sorority means you are recruiting 365 days a year, whether it’s through formal recruitment, social media, networking with women in your classes, or the way you act while wearing your letters.  At some point during your time as a collegian, you will experience Formal Recruitment.  I’ve had the opportunity to experience the Formal Recruitment Process both as a PNM, Potential New Member, and as a recruiter. Formal Recruitment requires a lot of preparation leading up to the days filled with rounds of meeting new women. So how can Formal Recruitment help you in the real world?

Time Management Skills: Preparing for Formal Recruitment require long hours of preparation in the weeks leading up to the actual recruitment events.  For Fall Recruitment these days, known as Spirit Days, are crammed into the first few weeks of the year. On top of establishing new semester routines and remembering how to study, you now have to spend hours preparing to recruit your sorority’s future.  This requires time management.  For me, my agenda helps keep me sane during the first chaotic month of the fall semester. Time management is a skill that will help you be successful for the rest of your life.

Optimistic Outlook: Whether you are a PNM or a sister who is recruiting, the Formal Recruitment process can be very long and tiresome.  Sometimes you spend a long time in uncomfortable shoes and clothes, you go hours without eating, and you get hardly any sleep.  While these things sound awful, the experience you are getting makes up for it. There are two ways you can deal with these negative things: with an optimistic attitude or with a pessimistic one. Being pessimistic will make the whole process seem much longer, and if you are a PNM you will have a tough time getting into a sorority because nobody really wants a negative Nancy to be their sister. The better option is to have an optimistic throughout the whole process. Being optimistic will make you happier and allow you to turn the negatives into positives. This is a trait that will get you far in life. Living life with an optimistic attitude will bring you a lot more happiness and positivity, which makes life much more pleasant.

Communication Skills: Formal Recruitment is all about being able to converse with other women.  It is through these conversations that you either figure out the organization you will call home or the women you would like to add to your organization. Without these conversations recruitment really wouldn’t exist. Recruitment teaches you how to have quality conversations and how to communicate even when a conversation is dying. Being able to communicate in awkward or normal conversations is a skill that will help you in the workplace, socially, and on a daily basis.

Appearance: Believe it or not, first impressions are incredibly important.  During recruitment first impressions matter, which is why it is important to be groomed. This means your hair should be done neatly, attire should be on the conservative side, makeup should give off a clean appearance, deodorant should be worn, clothes should not be wrinkled, nails should be trimmed and painted neatly (or not at all), and perfume should be on the lighter side. Learning to make a great first impression through a well-kept appearance is something that is good to know how to do as you will need to do this during a job interview.

Good luck to everyone engaging in the Formal Recruitment process this Fall! Just remember that the experience you are gaining is helping you develop better professional skills, which will help you post college.

Congrats to one of our new writers, Michaela, for this amazing article!! She also blogs as The Shore Life According to M!

My Recruitment Story

Charisse A.

I don’t have the typical recruitment story. I didn’t sign up as a wide eyed freshman fresh outta high school, anxiously waiting for this process to begin. I didn’t meet so many sororities on campus during recruitment to where I lost track of faces and names. My recruitment experience is just the opposite.

               I had struggled with the thought of seeing myself in a sorority, but figured “hey, why not?” So I told my parents I wanted to go through recruitment during first semester of college. Needless to say they were not on board because they wanted academics to be my number one focus, understandably so. So I waited until spring semester. At that point, I was fully immersed in my school work and other extracurriculars that I didn’t even know how I’d be able to balance everything! But after a lot of back and forth from my parents, they finally became a little bit more understanding.

               Because I went through spring semester, I had an informal experience; meaning I would go to some events that each sorority was hosting and see where my best fit was. (It was pretty easy to decide, considering my school at the time only had 2 sororities.) I knew which house I belonged to. I knew where I wanted to establish my roots. Getting my bid was just perfect yet so surreal! And at first, I thought I wouldn’t feel the same as someone who went through recruitment before felt when they were greeted by so many sisters singing and yelling, waiting for new sisters to embrace them! I did in fact felt that way! Here’s where everything gets a little weird.

               Towards the end of second semester, news broke that my school and another one were “merging” which meant that my university and another were to now be housed under the same name and jurisdiction. This also meant that for the fraternities and sororities who existed on both campus would also consolidate and we’d have to take on a whole new group of guys/girls whom we didn’t even know! After a lot of back and forth and trying to fit all the pieces together, everything turned on alright! I was initiated with a pledge class of 4, but now have a pledge class of over 70, will be recruiting with more than 80 sisters, and are expected to recruit HUNDREDS of PNMS!

            

   So like I said, I don’t have the most traditional recruiting story, but it’s unique and something special that I’ll always carry with me. 

Protecting Your Values

          One of my sisters, with whom I am very close, recently attended the Undergraduate Interfraternity Institute, a leadership conference that brings together fraternity leaders from across the country to remind them of the importance of reconnecting with their values in addition to training them in how to bring back the importance and awareness of their values to their campuses. Before she even left, she texted me asking me which of our fraternity’s values I had reflected today. I’ll admit, it wasn’t something I was expecting. I know our values, don’t get me wrong, but they were always something that I just knew were important to me. Integrity is something I hold very dearly. Honor and Respect are very important to me. All our values are incredible and good, but not something I thought about consciously on a daily basis. 

            I remember floundering for a minute, thinking, “all I did today was unpack and pick up my sister from gymnastics.” I hadn’t been reading to second graders, as my fraternity does as a part of our philanthropy, nor had I been raising money to improve literacy. Essentially, I hadn’t been doing anything important.

            In the end, I said something like, “Does driving my sister around count as a Philanthropic Service to Others?” and it does. And then I thought, “Oh I did some reading for my paper for graduate school, so there’s Intellectual Growth. And I chatted with my best friend from 8^th grade, and that’s Sincere Friendship.” So I guess our values apply to more than just fraternity and service heavy days.

            I began writing the values that I had reflected daily. And it has brought me closer to my fraternity. We are value-based organizations. We pride ourselves on our sisterhood, and our values are what bring us together. But unfortunately that which makes us strong can also be our downfall.

            Whenever a scandal breaks regarding our organizations, be it hazing, partying, or racist behavior, our organizations are heinously vilified in the media. Fraternities involved in hazing are called “appalling,” “vicious,” and worse. Furthermore, scandals involving mistreatment of minorities either in or out of the organization are repeatedly reported upon—the SAE scandal at Oklahoma University, for example, had well over a hundred headlines. Fraternity scandals tend to burn longer and brighter than many other organization’s scandals. Hazing, for instance, exists more openly and prevalently in other organizations, including but not limited to high school organizations, sports, honor societies, and the military (side note: a professor at my university, Jane Ward, recently wrote a book about hazing. I haven’t read it, but I have had a class with her and she’s incredible, so I would totally check it out if you’re interested).

            However, because Greek organizations are value based, we are more closely scrutinized. I would equate this to the way that those who create laws are held to them more closely. For instance, when politicians are caught breaking the law, they are persecuted harshly (well. As harshly as any United States politician will be).

            While journaling my values daily has been an incredible exercise in discipline and positivity, but I’m not sure that I would recommend this for everyone. I keep (what many would refer to as) too many journals, and I write prolifically on several aspects of my life—I have a general life journal for diary purposes, a bullet journal for organization, a reading journal dedicated to notes on whatever I happen to be reading at the moment, and a values journal. I completely understand that a lot of people don’t have this kind of time in their day, but there are other methods of keeping track of your values. A check-list is another good way to keep track of your values. Alternately, just tying your daily reflection to something else you do daily, like brushing your teeth is a good habit.

            This reflection has been incredible in helping me reconnect with my fraternity, especially when the fact that it’s summer right now is taken into consideration. I don’t get to see my sisters weekly at meeting or at letters, but I think of them when I think of Sincere Friendship. I found a Dr. Seuss book the other day and I thought of our Philanthropic Service to Others and how privileged I was to be able to participate in Champions are Readers, in which my sisters and I encouraged elementary students to love reading. I think about our founders and their hunger for learning every time I spend some time on Personal and Intellectual Growth. It’s a good way to feel productive and positive even when you don’t think you are.

            Pi Beta Phi has six values: Integrity, Lifelong Commitment, Honor and Respect, Personal and Intellectual Growth, Philanthropic Service to Others, and Sincere Friendship. Today I displayed four of my values:

·       Personal and Intellectual Growth: not only did I finish writing this article, but I also finished my philosophy class’s reading for the week and wrote out a section of GRE vocabulary flash cards.

·       Lifelong Commitment: My first and most important lifelong commitment is to myself, mind and body, and today I worked out.

·       Sincere Friendship: I counseled a friend through her first break up, even though she goes to school 8 hours away from me now and I haven’t seen her lately. Maintaining friendships despite distance is incredibly important to me. I also hosted a brief hang out session with a few sisters, with whom I cannot wait to be reunited officially once the school year starts.

·       Honor and Respect: This one is tough. A few months ago I got into a fight with someone I was very close to. He did not respect my boundaries and repeatedly ignored my requests to take the discussion somewhere more private and to pause long enough for me to stop shaking and crying. The fight resulted in more than a month and a half of radio silence. Today he sent me an apology. It checked all three marks of a good apology: he recognized what he had done, he understood why it was wrong, and he promised to not allow it to happen again. However, he continued to tell someone (with whom I am very good friends) precisely how insincere his apology was, and how he was entirely selfish in his reason for apologizing. I have a hard time not accepting apologies, generally speaking. My first instinct is to give people the benefit of the doubt and befriend them again, but this guy in particular had already hit his three strikes. And sometimes, honor and respect means putting yourself first. Sometimes honor and respect means recognizing that after a certain point, people don’t change—won’t change, and manipulation is never ok. Sometimes Integrity means sticking to your guns and holding when so much of you wants to cave. Sometimes Personal Growth means knowing that two years ago that person would have slid right back into your life only to hurt you again and again and again. Your first and most important Lifelong Commitment is to yourself, and sometimes you cannot compromise on your own wellbeing.

We joined these organizations for different reasons, but I think one thing we can agree upon having found is sisterhood. But more than that are the values that bind us together. Our values are what our founders had in mind when they set forth to create a space where women can support their fellow woman, and where our love of each other and our values can shine.

I like to sign off every values journal entry with “here’s to the wine and blue,” my fraternity’s colors. So with all the love in my heart and the values of my sisterhood, PPL.

Which of your fraternity’s values did you reflect today?

Show Kaitlin some love on her first article!!

Recruitment Workshop Epiphany

 Before I begin, here are a few things you should probably know about me.

·        My attention span is virtually nonexistent.

·        I really, really, really like food.

·        I hate mornings with a passion.

·        I’m kind of addicted to Diet Coke. Yes, I know it’s bad for me.

·        I never expected to join a sorority. The look of shock on my old friends’ faces still amuses me when they find out I joined my chapter.

·        I don’t fully fit in anywhere. I never have, and I don’t think I ever will. And I kind of like that.

·        I got a job to pay for sorority life, t-shirts, and extras.

·        I went through recruitment as a sophomore knowing where I wanted to call my home away from home (more on this in another post).

·        I knew who I wanted as my Big Diamond Sister as soon as we talked at Meet the Greeks.

·        I was planning on going financially inactive this year for several personal reasons.

I think that covers the bases.

Everyone told me to expect this moment of absolute wonder during my Initiation that I almost felt guilty for not feeling. I just didn’t feel anything through it. It wasn’t that I didn’t care or wasn’t excited. I just didn’t get some magical feeling or butterflies or anything. I was exhausted and kind of just want to get back to my pizza. That feeling added on to my personal reasons lead me to consider financial inactivity. I even got the paperwork half filled out. I got busy and didn’t worry with it for a while. Then our June workshop came around. I didn’t expect to almost completely change how I felt about my sorority.

I went through the motions on that first day. I sing-screamed my way through all the songs and chants most of us already knew, cheerleader-cheesed it up every time a camera was on me, and couldn’t wait for food. When it was over, I finally got to go home. I finally got to see my boyfriend after a week. The next morning I had to get up early for the Initiation of our two sweet Alphas. It was too early for me to get my Diet Coke fix for the day. To say I was cranky would be a gross understatement. But I love my sisters and wanted our two newest Alphas to have as great an experience as they could.

It was during their Initiation that I finally had my magical moment. I don’t even know what caused it. I just know that somewhere during the ceremony, I looked around the room at all the girls I had gone through the very same process with. I looked at them and knew I was exactly where I was meant to be. I realized that though I may not get along easily with every single sister I ever meet, the bond we share because of Alpha Delta Pi is more important than any of that. I had several more of those moments later in the day. I just realized exactly how much my sisterhood and letters mean to me in the long run.

I wouldn’t give up being in Alpha Delta Pi for anything. My letters aren’t just there to look cute on a shirt, fanny pack, or pair of sunglasses. My letters are to remind me to grow in who I am and to help push my sisters in the right direction as well. My letters are to remind me to be better than I was yesterday, even if it’s only a little. They’re to remind me that I will never be alone again. I knew all these things before workshop, and yet I also didn’t. I had to refocus on that. And that, my dear friends, is an epiphany to last a lifetime.

I believe that our motto, “We Live For Each Other”, expresses the true spirit of fraternity; and that by living this motto my life will be enriched by true friendships and by unselfish service to mankind.

Check out this great article from our new writer, Meaghan!!