Pseudo Bigs are the New Black

Pseudo Bigs Are #FLAWLESS

Big and Little relationships are made to help the little, who is also a new member, adjust to sorority life. Usually, bigs and littles are matched up perfectly because they already fostered a strong bond with each other. Although, in rare cases, some match ups don’t work out. This leaves the little in a fickle because she doesn't know who to go to when she needs help or who to seek that ever-lasting bond with. Alas, a pseudo big can come forward to help that little find her place.

If you are unfamiliar with the term pseudo big, it’s when an older active becomes the little’s new big. Contrary to belief, pseudo bigs serve a positive purpose and are not out to steal their fellow sister’s little. They become a mentor to the new member when the original big has disaffiliated or merely doesn't have time to be there for her little. Pseudo bigs mean a lot to littles because it’s a chance for littles to find someone they can look up to and make that magical big/little relationship they see everyone else have.

Pseudo bigs are not supposed to be seen as the enemy, instead they should be a blessing in disguise. I, myself, am a pseudo little and I couldn't be happier. My relationship with my original big was basically non-existent. Then I got picked up by someone who helped me along the way through all the troubles I was facing. They even helped me when I was facing a moral dilemma of picking up littles because I was nervous about what kind of big I would end up as. However, because my new big became such a great impact on my life, I was able to showcase the same love and affection to my littles.

As long as there are no ill feelings towards adopting a new little, pseudo bigs are the true bigs. Some may think the term is unnecessary because they think as long as the little makes a relationship with other members, there’s no need to search for a new big. However, it is about the little. They are the ones who want to make the best out of their time in the sorority. And while they have relationships with other members, it is nothing close to the big and little relationship. Pseudo bigs are kindling a relationship to shine a light on the little’s experience in her new member period and the rest of her sorority time. 

*Editors Note: This article was written by one of our new writers, Christina! Read more about her here!

Meet the Writers of Sisterhood Redefined

You've been reading their posts for two months now! It's time to meet the faces behind the names! 

Here are Sisterhood Redefined's official new writers:

Alexis Rae

Alexis is member of Alpha Sigma Alpha - Theta Beta Chapter at Roanoke College. She graduated in May 2014 with a degree in English and is currently working and saving money so that she can apply to graduate school in the next few years. During her active years with her sisterhood she served as Social Chairwoman as well as being a member of various committees such as: ritual, scholarship, and bi-law committees. The thing she loved most about her sisterhood and still loves to this day is that they are a chapter that is made up of very different women with different interests, majors, and skills. However, you could always tell when we they together as a group that they combined to make the perfect mixture of sisterhood. She still lives in the area and continues to support her chapter and sorority in a alumnae capacity. 

Amanda Gerow

Amanda is a sister of Alpha Gamma Delta at the University of West Florida. She is a junior Journalism major with a minor in Political Science. One day she hopes to write something cool enough to be featured on the side of a Chipotle cup. When she is not working, doing something with Alpha Gam, or in class you can find her walking her dachshund somewhere in downtown Pensacola or pouring glitter onto a new craft (she paints a pretty rad cooler). She thinks Diet Coke is a necessity and tells herself everyday that if people loved each other the way she loves pizza the world would be a better place. 

Brittany Yopp

Nikki is a Sophomore at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro where she pursues a degree in English while working on prerequisites for Physical Therapy. She hopes to join the military one day to serve our wounded soldiers and help them perform daily tasks through physical therapy. Nikki loves working with animals and hopes to be able to foster puppies in the next few years! She is a sister of Sigma Sigma Sigma. Her favorite aspect of being a sorority woman is recruitment because she loves knowing that women are finding their home in Greek Life! Whenever Nikki has free time she's usually practicing yoga or reading a good book to escape from everyday stresses.

Cara Castillo

Cara is a senior at the University of Michigan-Dearborn where she is a member of Phi Mu Fraternity. Having recently finished her term as Vice President, she spends her newly-found free time working toward publishing her first novel and writing her history senior thesis. A fan of music festivals, Qdoba, and all things Lilly Pulitzer, one of her favorite parts of Greek Life is dancing with her sisters in the Mock Rock competition at the end of Greek Week (five-peat champs!). Cara is also known to be the mushiest, most sentimental member of her chapter, earning herself the nickname "Cry Phi". And yes, she sobbed at the end of "Tangled". 

Christina Daraphon

Christina is a 20 year old living in Southern California. She is a third year English major at University of California, Riverside and a proud member of Pi Beta Phi. She spends her time staying involved with Habitat for Humanity and Alpha Lambda Delta Honors Fraternity. In her free time she enjoys reading, netflix, chocolate, make up, and doing anything with her three littles. She has been to concerts every year for five years! Fun fact: She touched the lead singers of Bastille's hand and arm and it was magical. After college, she hopes to work for a publishing company and end up as an editor.

Kendall Reynolds

Kendall is a sophomore at California State University Chico studying Public Relations Journalism with an emphasis in Gender and Sexuality Studies. She keeps herself busy by representing her beautiful sisters in Alpha Gamma Delta on the Panhellenic Council as the VP of Community Service and Philanthropy. Be warned, she will clog your feed with hashtags and shared links bandwagoning every societal issue. Real Housewife memes tend to explain her emotions best while texting. She is a strong believer in the accuracy of buzzfeed in relation to her life and her following to follower ratios on social media. So make sure to follower her on Instagram (thats_so_kendall) then her Pinterest and Twitter (kendall_rose_).

Lauren Tank

Lauren is a recent graduate of University of Minnesota-Twin Cities where she studied Advertising in the School of Journalism and Mass Communication. She is a devoted member of Delta Chapter of Alpha Gamma Delta, where she has served as Technology Coordinator. She currently resides in the Great Kingdom of Cheese, a.k.a. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. (PACKER FANS REPRESENT) In her spare time, she enjoys graphic design, playing with cats, and going on whirlwind adventures with her ragtag team of diabolical accomplices. FUN FACTS: Lauren once wrote a stage play that was performed by real actors, she has rappelled upside-down off the top of a tall tower, and she can speak Spanish with a Russian accent. Writing is one of Lauren’s greatest talents and hobbies, so she is excited to share her love of sorority life with Panhel sisters across the globe. She hopes to help foster a spirit of sisterhood across all Panhellenic sororities and promote Greek life among non-members to encourage recruitment. To see more of her work, please visit www.laurentank.com. 

Of course we can't forget our previous writers: 

Beth Jenkins // Co-Founder

Beth is a sophomore at Georgia Southern University. She spends her time split between the biology and psychology departments as she pursues her undergrad degree in both subjects. She spends her free time working and volunteering with children with special needs. She has learned the importance of philanthropy through her sorority, Alpha Gamma Delta, in which she now holds alumnae status. When Beth has free time she likes to practice yoga or work on jewelry projects for her business A Southern Memory. You can often find her wandering aimlessly through the rows of Hobby Lobby or scouring Pinterest (@wanderinforever) searching for project ideas.

Laurencia Porter

Laurencia is a dedicated member of Alpha Sigma Tau at Radford University in Virginia. She has an eye for fashion and loves to create fun outfits. Laurencia loves to hang out with her big and her sisters in her free time. 

Melissa Marlin 

Melissa a senior at the University of Puget Sound in Tacoma, WA. But more importantly she is a member of the Delta Iota Chapter of Kappa Alpha Theta! When she isn't watching Dance Moms with her sisters in the living room or going on Michael's binges during Big Appreciation Week, you can find her on the water with her rowing team. Between sorority life, rowing, and studying for her math and economics double major it's a wonder she gets any sleep...and most of the time she doesn't get nearly enough. She is so excited to be a part of Sisterhood Redefined, even if it will cut into her precious sleep time.

Sonia Wade // Co-Founder

Sonia is a junior at Georgia Southern University where she studies Marketing, Economics and Spanish. She is a social media junkie so follow her on Twitter and Pinterest (@soniawade623) for constant entertainment. Sonia woks hard to do a little bit of everything in her sorority, Delta Phi Epsilon so is always a little busy and really uses music as her outlet - her tastes are quite eccentric though.   If you don't see her with paint on her legs (she loves painting coolers) or coffee in her hands (she's surpassed the Starbucks Gold Membership and has a Starbucks black card), alert the media! 

Rekindling the Spark for Your Sisterhood

I fell in love on September 9th, 2012. It wasn’t with some silly boy, but instead with a purpose and a group of individuals that would carry me so much further than I ever thought possible.

          

None of us knew it would be like this. The racing of the heart, the constant smiling, and the warmth that starts at your toes and spreads through your entire body. We didn’t know that love would come so quickly and hit so hard, even for those of us who often keep our guard up. However, when we opened our letters and ran to that group of screaming sisters, we knew deep down that this love would be different and life changing.

           This past semester, I’ve said more than once how much I wish I were a new member in my organization again. Being a “baby squirrel”, as we call it in my chapter of Alpha Gamma Delta, was one of the best times in my life.

           As a new member, it was so easy to love everything. It was all so new and I went to everything. I met all of these interesting and full of life people that were both in my own organization and out of it. I wore my little puffy painted letters with pride, and once I was initiated, I took every chance I could to wear stitched letters and our crest. It was heaven. The early morning events and late night social events were my happy place. Nothing really mattered outside of my sisterhood anymore.

           However, by sophomore year I was a full time student, working two jobs, a member of Executive Council, and balancing multiple types of relationships. I was burning the candle at both ends, and eventually it all caught up to me.

It happens. So, if you are reading this and thinking “Oh no. What am I doing? I’m so tired and so busy and I just really want to take a nap but also I need a snack, etc.,” don’t panic. You’re going to make it. It’s easy to get burnt out, even on sisterhood. Anyone who tells you that’s not true is either the world’s best college student/sorority girl or a really gifted storyteller.

So, before you start to crawl into a hole and avoid the world completely, take a deep breath. This too shall pass. Take a step back from everything. This is just another moment. What you need to ask yourself isn’t what it is that is important to you, but why is it important?

My sisterhood supports me. My sisters are my people. They are the living reminder of my purpose. They are my 12 AM Taco Bell dates and my voices of reason, but that doesn’t mean that it’s always easy to remember.

Remember that with even great love can come some pain. It’s not easy balancing relationships with 100 or so girls, your family, and other friends. It’s not easy trying to always be a leader for a group of people when you don’t even know what you’re doing with your own life. It’s not easy accepting the outcome of some events. And it’s not easy learning how to be the bigger person and accept what you are dealt in life.

However, that’s what makes it special. If your spark is dwindling, remind yourself that you didn’t join your sisterhood for the cute merchandise and photo ops. You joined for the moments. The moments where you spent 30+ hours crafting for Lip Sync and Bid Day and at the end you all just end up in a pile of tutus laughing and crying. The moments where you text a sister you may not be the closest to just because you know they need some support. These are those moments that start a new fire.

Don’t let the stress of doing everything at once blow out your flame. Let it kindle it.

So if you’re struggling and if you’re wondering where that new member type of love you once had went, know that it’s not gone. It’s just bigger than you thought. Focus on the times that are going to pull you out of a slump.

You can’t rekindle a love by walking away. What you can do is take a step back, take a deep breath, and remind yourself of those moments that make it all worth it.