What They Don't Tell You About Going Rho Gam

When I received my bid in the Fall of 2012, all the other girls were dreaming of someday becoming President of their chapters, but all I wanted was to be a Rho Gamma someday. The amazing Panhellenic women who had guided me and thirty-two other new members to our forever Greek homes had inspired me to someday make that same difference in other girls’ lives. When I finally received a chance to be a recruitment counselor this past summer, I was beyond thrilled that my first and foremost dream of my Greek Life experience was coming true.

I knew it was going to be difficult - not only keeping distance from my sisters during the summer and recruitment season, but also the added commitment of recruitment events, and the responsibility of holding the new PNMs’ trust in my keeping. But in the end, being a Rho Gam turned out to be so much more than I had ever imagined, in every way possible.

1. It isn’t a break from your sorority.

In fact, it’s almost the opposite of that. Although you’ll still be expected to help carry out operations of your own chapter (especially if you hold a leadership position, for which summer is probably the busiest season for planning) you will also have the added responsibility for helping plan, organize, and pull off Panhellenic-wide recruitment events, as well as contacting lists upon lists of girls, convincing them of why they should join Greek Life. Applying to be a Rho Gamma isn’t a free pass for a relaxing summer - in fact, taking on the role is more like being a part of two sororities.

2. You will deserve an Oscar for your performance.

You’ve put your letters into storage, you’ve set your Instagram and Facebook to private, and you’ve duct-taped over the decal on your car. But nothing quite prepares you for the infamous guessing games that all PNMs love to play during recruitment. It’s definitely fun to hear what chapter they think you’re a part of (even if it’s based on silly things like your hair color or how you dress), but giving an appropriate reaction to their guesses only gets easier with time. By the end of recruitment, I was shocked by just how easily some of my Rho Gamma sisters could lie about their affiliations and could only applaud them for their performances - especially when I saw the shock on the PNMs’ faces when they would reveal their affiliations on Bid Day.

3. Your small-talk skills will be polished by the end of the season.

If you thought being a guide in the recruitment room was tough, try keeping 70+ nervous girls (at least in the case of my commuter college’s small-scale Greek system)  comfortable and informed while they wait for their rounds! Luckily, probably the best thing to make them feel more at home during recruitment is by doing what all sorority women love to do - talk! I will probably always remember bonding with one of my lovely PNMs simply over how much we had loved reading The Giver as kids and promising we’d go see the movie together when recruitment was over. It was little moments like these that made it seem as if these beautiful young women were already a part of our Panhellenic family and kept the girls relaxed and ready to mingle during the rounds.

4. You will fall in love with your PNMs, no matter what sorority you suspect they’ll be perfect in.

There will be so many special moments during your Rho Gamma experience: when you see a shy, nervous Freshman gain confidence after accepting her bid; when a PNM paints her toenails a sorority’s colors for good luck; when the first young woman who receives her bid cries of happiness and you two share the warmest hug you could ever have imagined. These little moments, despite what chapter each girl receives bids to, are what will remain engraved in your memory long after Bid Day.

5. You will gain a ridiculous amount of respect and love for the other chapters on your campus.

Of course you’ve spent the past three years alongside these girls - maybe you even went through recruitment with them - but after quizzing yourself on their sorority’s philanthropy, events, programs, colors, and traditions, you begin to feel an overwhelming amount of pride and love for the other chapters on campus. And after spending so much time with your Rho Gamma sisters, it’s hard not to love chapters they belong to! The joy you feel when they rejoice over their amazing new members is indescribable. After you’re a Rho Gamma, competition doesn’t make sense anymore - you suddenly want the best for every chapter.

6. Your Rho Gamma sisters will become your soul mates.

ROFL-worthy group chats, sushi dates, Party City shopping sprees, endless nights of post-recruitment event studying, and emotional tell-alls in your cars - this experience with these women will change you for life. When you join a sorority, you have 50+ (or in many cases, over 100) sisters to help you navigate life. But as a Rho Gam, you and your other recruitment counselors will rely on each other for everything - emotional support, sisterhood, and good times. Although you each come from different chapters and it might be a little awkward at first, by recruitment week you’ll all be laughing and chatting as if you were pledge sisters, leading to a lot of confusion for the curious PNMs! These women become your sisters, and it’s not easy to leave them on Bid Day.

My group of Rho Gammas was so in love with each other that we planned out an extravagant dance for Rho Gam reveal to the NSYNC song “I Want You Back” as well as “Coming Home”. Although it didn’t exactly go as planned (we ended up singing the music - very Mean Girl’s “Jingle Bell Rock”), we were still each sobbing by the time we finally revealed our letters.

7. The other Rho Gammas from your chapter will have a special hold on your heart.

They are your ties to your chapter, simple as that. Even after you re-associate with your chapter, you will constantly find yourself gravitating toward them because, very simply, they were whom you leaned on for five months. They understand each and every struggle of being a Rho Gamma, all while retaining that special bond of sisterhood that you have with only your chapter.

8. It may hurt a little bit (okay, a lot).

Keeping unbiased isn’t hard - especially after bonding so much with the Rho Gammas from other chapters. But hearing the subjective and sometimes hurtful comments PNMs make about the chapters can hurt like a stab to the heart, regardless if it’s about your chapter or not. On one hand, it’s great that your PNMs are able to open up to you with such honesty (as they should!), but it’s never fun to hear one of your beloved chapters described as “boring”, “flaky”, or “fake”. And having a comfortable, close relationship with your PNMs can be stressful, too. Your perfect PNM may have already had her “Say Yes to the Dress” moment, her heart absolutely set on her dream sorority. But when the preference invitations are sent out and she doesn’t receive one from her favorite chapter, the pain of what seems like rejection can be almost as heartbreaking to you as it is to her. But above all, nothing hurts more than seeing a girl drop completely from recruitment because of an invitation or bid she did not get. You’ll still see her on campus all the time, and although you two don’t talk anymore (sometimes because she might feel some sort of embarrassment for not getting the recruitment experience she had envisioned), the sight of her still leaves you with sadness as you contemplate what a wonderful Greek experience she would have had if she had given another chapter a chance.

9. Rho Gamm-ing doesn’t end on Bid Day.

This was something I definitely wasn’t prepared for. As a Rho Gamma, you probably envision the climax of your experience to be running back to your sisters on Bid Day and resuming your normal sorority life. But what you’re not prepared for is the PNM who cries to you about not receiving a bid to the chapter of her dreams. Or the wonderful girl who confides that she had wanted a spot in your chapter and that she would wait a whole year to try again. Or the girl who still texts you asking about recruitment opportunities to her favorite sorority. So many of us take our great recruitment experiences and fairy-tale Bid Days for granted. Your heart will positively ache for those girls who didn’t get that same experience and still long for it. But the most important thing is to keep being there for them - to talk, to let them vent, to help them prepare for next year - so that they do give Greek Life another chance and receive the experience of a lifetime.

10. The bond between Rho Gammas and their PNMs is one of a kind.

They may not become your Little. They may not even become a member of your chapter. But they will always have a special place in your heart, and you in theirs. You were one of their first encounters with Greek Life, the first person they could talk to about their worries, their frustrations, and their overwhelming excitement. You were the person who was just as excited about recruitment as they were. That initial bond is something that will never change and cannot be forgotten.

Being a Rho Gamma is hard. You’ll spend late nights crafting until your fingers bleed. A girl on your email list might not-so-politely tell you she’s not interested. You’ll miss out on fun sorority events, being a part of every cute recruitment picture, and developing a personal “rush crush”. But in the end, the benefits of being a Rho Gam tip the scale dramatically. You’ll find forever friendships with your Rho Gamma sisters. You’ll learn to appreciate your own sisterhood even more. You get to meet dozens upon dozens of bright-eyed Freshman who will be on a sorority-high for the next nine months, just as you were. And it truly does rejuvenate the love of being Greek, of having this experience that you share with all but two of the US Presidents since 1825, countless CEOs, and each of the eleven Apollo astronauts. You’re in good company, and with your help and guidance, your PNMs will be, too!