Branching Out To Other Organizations

Do it. It will do you some good.

While joining a sorority will look great on a resume with the ever-lasting commitment you display, good character traits, your ability to lead -- it should not be the only thing that shows what you are capable of doing.

As it is still the beginning of the school year, try to look into other organization to not only build up your resume, but to also build up your networking. It will create a lot of connections to a field of interest.

All college campuses varies by what clubs are offered but each has a consensus for an enjoyable student life.

Look into an academic or business fraternity. It will show that you are goal oriented to prove your own leadership potential and your LinkedIn profile will be blasted with so many connections from your peers and current business employers who will be impressed with your endorsements.

Community service clubs are a great way to connect with something bigger. It can be for a national community service organization like Circle K International or Habitat for Humanity, where you vie for the same type of services for a common goal. Each organization not only provides their services to the community with something small like trash pick up or big like building a new home, but they also fundraise money for their counterparts! You'll get that heart warming feeling when you see so many smiling faces from a job well done.

Get cultural with culture clubs, even if you aren't born into it! You'll get a whole new perspective on an exciting lifestyle for people who are eager to show you! You'll learn something new every time and there will also be an abundance of food from all of the potlucks that will ensue. Yes, please.

Step out of your chapter to develop a better college experience. This will create many memories with different people who, too, share the same interests as you!

Being in the Wrong Major

Let’s face it- junior year of high school is arguably the most stressful year of high school. You start to think about what college(s) to apply for, the hundreds of scholarship apps you’ll need to fill out in order to even go to college, and what major you’ll decide to be. Year after year, your teachers and guidance counselors told you to not only major in something you “like” but also major in something that is practical and will make you money; so majors like professional writing or psychology always raised the question “what are you gonna do with that after you graduate?”  But by my second year of college, I realized that I had inadvertently gone along with that same mindset. I was also more miserable in my major and felt it would only get worse.

My first two years of college, I was a biology major. My ultimate dream was to be a doctor and I was never going to give up on that dream, even though biology is one of the hardest majors out there. Don’t get me wrong, I still want to be a doctor more than anything else in this world, but I found that majoring in biology just wasn’t for me. I have a special love and appreciation for science, but I also love more artistic things such as playing the piano and writing poetry. While being a biology major, I found that my major was taking so much out of me in every way possible that I actually started to hate it. I hated going to class, I hated the material, and I especially hated how expensive all those books were getting. I felt so trapped! Then it dawned on me- I came to college not only for a degree, but to grow and expand my way of thinking and I wasn’t getting that. So I decided to make a change.

I took a sociology class last year and I instantly fell in love with it. I realized that I was more excited about going to class more so than I ever was while in college. The work for that class didn’t seem like work to me; it was enjoyable and extremely fulfilling. And while I was searching through a long list of majors to choose from, I thought to myself-“why am I making this so hard?!” In that moment, I knew sociology was for me.

Once I told my advisors, friends, and family about my change, I was bombarded with questions, comments, and a whole lot of concerns. I felt I had to give them more than just “because it just feels right” but I realized, that’s all I really needed. (Plus, if I’m gonna be spending thousands of dollars and 4+ years on a degree, I sure better enjoy every penny I’m spending and every hour of work I’m gonna be putting in.) But once I also explained that I can still go to med school and take the necessary prereqs while studying something I didn’t realize I always loved, everyone started to realize why I made the change in the first place. Now, this fall, I will officially be declaring my major as Sociology with a concentration in Medical Sociology and I may even add a minor in Chemistry! And even though I have a long road of ahead of me, at least I know I’ll be happy. I’ll have time to get back to the things I love such as playing the piano and having the opportunity to write for an amazing blog such as this one!

So if you’re having legitimate thoughts of changing your major (because let’s be real, we all have those thoughts at some point during college), talk to your advisor. Really do some soul searching and do what you feel is right in your heart. Who cares if no one else sees the vision that you do?! You only go through this kind of college experience once, so why waste it on being in a major you hate? Do what you love and have a passion for. If that ends up being a major that’ll make great money, then good for you. If not, you’ll always figure out a way to make it work. Trust yourself and trust in your instincts and you can’t go wrong.  

Look at the great job Charisse did on her first article!

My Recruitment Story

Charisse A.

I don’t have the typical recruitment story. I didn’t sign up as a wide eyed freshman fresh outta high school, anxiously waiting for this process to begin. I didn’t meet so many sororities on campus during recruitment to where I lost track of faces and names. My recruitment experience is just the opposite.

               I had struggled with the thought of seeing myself in a sorority, but figured “hey, why not?” So I told my parents I wanted to go through recruitment during first semester of college. Needless to say they were not on board because they wanted academics to be my number one focus, understandably so. So I waited until spring semester. At that point, I was fully immersed in my school work and other extracurriculars that I didn’t even know how I’d be able to balance everything! But after a lot of back and forth from my parents, they finally became a little bit more understanding.

               Because I went through spring semester, I had an informal experience; meaning I would go to some events that each sorority was hosting and see where my best fit was. (It was pretty easy to decide, considering my school at the time only had 2 sororities.) I knew which house I belonged to. I knew where I wanted to establish my roots. Getting my bid was just perfect yet so surreal! And at first, I thought I wouldn’t feel the same as someone who went through recruitment before felt when they were greeted by so many sisters singing and yelling, waiting for new sisters to embrace them! I did in fact felt that way! Here’s where everything gets a little weird.

               Towards the end of second semester, news broke that my school and another one were “merging” which meant that my university and another were to now be housed under the same name and jurisdiction. This also meant that for the fraternities and sororities who existed on both campus would also consolidate and we’d have to take on a whole new group of guys/girls whom we didn’t even know! After a lot of back and forth and trying to fit all the pieces together, everything turned on alright! I was initiated with a pledge class of 4, but now have a pledge class of over 70, will be recruiting with more than 80 sisters, and are expected to recruit HUNDREDS of PNMS!

            

   So like I said, I don’t have the most traditional recruiting story, but it’s unique and something special that I’ll always carry with me. 

Protecting Your Values

          One of my sisters, with whom I am very close, recently attended the Undergraduate Interfraternity Institute, a leadership conference that brings together fraternity leaders from across the country to remind them of the importance of reconnecting with their values in addition to training them in how to bring back the importance and awareness of their values to their campuses. Before she even left, she texted me asking me which of our fraternity’s values I had reflected today. I’ll admit, it wasn’t something I was expecting. I know our values, don’t get me wrong, but they were always something that I just knew were important to me. Integrity is something I hold very dearly. Honor and Respect are very important to me. All our values are incredible and good, but not something I thought about consciously on a daily basis. 

            I remember floundering for a minute, thinking, “all I did today was unpack and pick up my sister from gymnastics.” I hadn’t been reading to second graders, as my fraternity does as a part of our philanthropy, nor had I been raising money to improve literacy. Essentially, I hadn’t been doing anything important.

            In the end, I said something like, “Does driving my sister around count as a Philanthropic Service to Others?” and it does. And then I thought, “Oh I did some reading for my paper for graduate school, so there’s Intellectual Growth. And I chatted with my best friend from 8^th grade, and that’s Sincere Friendship.” So I guess our values apply to more than just fraternity and service heavy days.

            I began writing the values that I had reflected daily. And it has brought me closer to my fraternity. We are value-based organizations. We pride ourselves on our sisterhood, and our values are what bring us together. But unfortunately that which makes us strong can also be our downfall.

            Whenever a scandal breaks regarding our organizations, be it hazing, partying, or racist behavior, our organizations are heinously vilified in the media. Fraternities involved in hazing are called “appalling,” “vicious,” and worse. Furthermore, scandals involving mistreatment of minorities either in or out of the organization are repeatedly reported upon—the SAE scandal at Oklahoma University, for example, had well over a hundred headlines. Fraternity scandals tend to burn longer and brighter than many other organization’s scandals. Hazing, for instance, exists more openly and prevalently in other organizations, including but not limited to high school organizations, sports, honor societies, and the military (side note: a professor at my university, Jane Ward, recently wrote a book about hazing. I haven’t read it, but I have had a class with her and she’s incredible, so I would totally check it out if you’re interested).

            However, because Greek organizations are value based, we are more closely scrutinized. I would equate this to the way that those who create laws are held to them more closely. For instance, when politicians are caught breaking the law, they are persecuted harshly (well. As harshly as any United States politician will be).

            While journaling my values daily has been an incredible exercise in discipline and positivity, but I’m not sure that I would recommend this for everyone. I keep (what many would refer to as) too many journals, and I write prolifically on several aspects of my life—I have a general life journal for diary purposes, a bullet journal for organization, a reading journal dedicated to notes on whatever I happen to be reading at the moment, and a values journal. I completely understand that a lot of people don’t have this kind of time in their day, but there are other methods of keeping track of your values. A check-list is another good way to keep track of your values. Alternately, just tying your daily reflection to something else you do daily, like brushing your teeth is a good habit.

            This reflection has been incredible in helping me reconnect with my fraternity, especially when the fact that it’s summer right now is taken into consideration. I don’t get to see my sisters weekly at meeting or at letters, but I think of them when I think of Sincere Friendship. I found a Dr. Seuss book the other day and I thought of our Philanthropic Service to Others and how privileged I was to be able to participate in Champions are Readers, in which my sisters and I encouraged elementary students to love reading. I think about our founders and their hunger for learning every time I spend some time on Personal and Intellectual Growth. It’s a good way to feel productive and positive even when you don’t think you are.

            Pi Beta Phi has six values: Integrity, Lifelong Commitment, Honor and Respect, Personal and Intellectual Growth, Philanthropic Service to Others, and Sincere Friendship. Today I displayed four of my values:

·       Personal and Intellectual Growth: not only did I finish writing this article, but I also finished my philosophy class’s reading for the week and wrote out a section of GRE vocabulary flash cards.

·       Lifelong Commitment: My first and most important lifelong commitment is to myself, mind and body, and today I worked out.

·       Sincere Friendship: I counseled a friend through her first break up, even though she goes to school 8 hours away from me now and I haven’t seen her lately. Maintaining friendships despite distance is incredibly important to me. I also hosted a brief hang out session with a few sisters, with whom I cannot wait to be reunited officially once the school year starts.

·       Honor and Respect: This one is tough. A few months ago I got into a fight with someone I was very close to. He did not respect my boundaries and repeatedly ignored my requests to take the discussion somewhere more private and to pause long enough for me to stop shaking and crying. The fight resulted in more than a month and a half of radio silence. Today he sent me an apology. It checked all three marks of a good apology: he recognized what he had done, he understood why it was wrong, and he promised to not allow it to happen again. However, he continued to tell someone (with whom I am very good friends) precisely how insincere his apology was, and how he was entirely selfish in his reason for apologizing. I have a hard time not accepting apologies, generally speaking. My first instinct is to give people the benefit of the doubt and befriend them again, but this guy in particular had already hit his three strikes. And sometimes, honor and respect means putting yourself first. Sometimes honor and respect means recognizing that after a certain point, people don’t change—won’t change, and manipulation is never ok. Sometimes Integrity means sticking to your guns and holding when so much of you wants to cave. Sometimes Personal Growth means knowing that two years ago that person would have slid right back into your life only to hurt you again and again and again. Your first and most important Lifelong Commitment is to yourself, and sometimes you cannot compromise on your own wellbeing.

We joined these organizations for different reasons, but I think one thing we can agree upon having found is sisterhood. But more than that are the values that bind us together. Our values are what our founders had in mind when they set forth to create a space where women can support their fellow woman, and where our love of each other and our values can shine.

I like to sign off every values journal entry with “here’s to the wine and blue,” my fraternity’s colors. So with all the love in my heart and the values of my sisterhood, PPL.

Which of your fraternity’s values did you reflect today?

Show Kaitlin some love on her first article!!

Disaffiliation Is A Lot Harder Than I Thought

This summer and upcoming fall, I have to disaffiliate/disassociate myself from my sorority because I have the opportunity to be a rho gamma in this year's recruitment. 

Let me tell you, during my interview they asked me if I will have any trouble from disaffiliation considering that I have to showcase an unbiased opinion. I told the interviewers, "I can disaffiliate easily. It can't be that hard because it's only the summer. And I'll busy myself, so I don't think there's a chance I'll see them in public anyways." 

I was wrong. 

It was a long and tedious process to hide my photos and privatize every social media account I had. Thankfully, there were loopholes where I can still talk to my sisters with texting but it was like I was creating a forbidden relationship with my own chapter.  

When some girls wanted to hang out with me, we actually had to think logistically because of a possible potential new member spotting my sister in her srat gear. Then there was moments in group outings where sisters would take photos for PR, and I was either the photographer or the girl awkwardly watching from the sidelines. 

I can walk on campus and see my sister but I can't open wave to them or hug them. I literally have to look the other way or not make eye contact with them. It has turned to a point where any type of public communication is literally not allowed with us!

There are definite pluses to disaffiliation because I am able to meet a whole range of amazing girls from different chapters and I can focus on the new members during recruitment. While disaffiliation seems hard right now, I find it hopeful because then I can start running back into my sisters's arms and proudly wear my letters again.